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February 28th, 2014

09:55 pm
overwhelmed and exhausted

I never write in here and whenever I think about it I'm feeling down or depressed. I hate that.

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January 4th, 2013

06:59 pm
my poor babies keep taking turns being sick. I'm just thankful that this rarely happens. Indigo has a fever right now and she should be resting but instead she is standing next to me counting Ed's change LOL Phoenix was diagnosed with bronchitis and broarderline pneumonia :( antibiotics for him!! He's 7 1/2 and this is the first time he's had them. I'd say thats pretty good.

Our Christmas was great. We spent it in MD with family.. This was the first year I got anxious and wanted to come home. I really have a hard time being outside of my house and without my cats. yes I am that crazy. LOL I just missed my home. It snowed so we got a white Christmas. We weren't exactly prepared for that (clothing etc..) but the kids played for a little while. My Grandmother is the BEST and I miss her already.

We went to Great Wolf Lodge a week or so before Christmas and that was the kids present. We had a BLAST!!! I even got on the water slides with the kids. They of course thought I was the coolest mom ever LOL I just loved having fun with them and chilling out!! It was great. We got an AWESOME homeschool discount so that was how we afforded it. Normally its like $350-$400 a NIGHT! :O Insane!

The boys are spending the night at Jeni's house. I swear we may as well start living together because we are over there all. the. time.

I'm rocking red hair right now.. actually I'm not sure I'm rocking it... LOL Its not my favorite its kind of orangy... so I'm thinking of doing it again.

Been on new meds AGAIN!! Super frusterating but I'm praying this is going to WORK! I have about 2 or so weeks longer before I really notice the difference... I'm ok right now though but tired all. the. time. I know most of that is side effects but its still super annoying.

This year is going to be fab I just know it. Here's to positive thinking!!

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May 31st, 2012

02:05 am
Ug I just watched a scary movie and now I cannot sleep.

Phoenix is awake because his back hurts (damn sunburn!!!)

I'm in a funk

I'm tired but I can tell sleep will not happen for hours. its a little after 2am now.

hmmm there is more but i'm lazy.

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April 30th, 2012

10:39 pm - BLESSED!

Thats what I am

My children even though they argue non stop are amazing!!!

I don't know how I ever got so lucky to have 4 amazingly beautiful children that I get to care for!!! :)

Homeschooling is amazing. I wouldn't want our life any other way. i hated when the kids were in school. I enjoy having my children with me (of course I love breaks too!!!) but really They are MY children shouldn't I be the one to teach them?! We aren't really going to take off during the summer. There is little point. We don't do full days as it is so we really need to keep going. Plus there is so much fun stuff to do, why would we want to stop?! Our co-ops are over in the next few weeks and I will really miss them!!! I thrive on connecting with other mamas!!! The kids get out and socialize and its just great. This summer I want to spend lots of time reading outside, at the beach, at busch gardens, and just learning!! I also am going to order caterpillars so we can watch those! fun!

The Australian stuff is coming along. Slowly but surely. We will get there eventually. I'm starting to get excited. I mean how many people get to live in Australia?!? This is going to be good for us. We've been researching the animals there for a project Logan is doing and its so so cool!!! The have the neatest animals! i jsut cannot wait for the kids to see a real kangaroo!!!

the weightloss is going sloooooooooow. but I'm trying to remain positive. I CAN AND WILL Do this!!! I've been juicing and eating more raw foods. Trying to get the kids away from CANDY!! Thats hard!!! They don't really eat a lot but thats what they like to buy with their allowence.

Anyway Logan is bugging me to cut his hair and its almost 11pm! So I'd better hurry up. Phoenix and Indigo are playing monopoly with Ed. Have I mentioned how blessed I am?!?!?

Oh! I was able to bless a friend today and that felt SO GOOD!!! :)

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November 16th, 2011

01:10 am
Sometimes I really wonder if i will ever be able to sleep without sleeping pills or benadryl
i'm annoyed. I'm out of the sleeping pills which hardly work.. I mean is it normal to StiLL take like 1 or more hours to go to sleep WITH a sleeping pill? This is insane! UG!!!

I just want to be normal. I can sleep at any point during the day but not at night. i've stopped taking naps and that doesn;t seem to help.

I guess it will be another trip back to my DR.

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August 30th, 2011

02:17 pm
I don't know what my problem is.. I'm driving myself crazy...
I have no idea what I want to do with my life, what I am doing with my life..
I'm bored all the time.. being a stay at home mama is hard.. I mean we do a lot of things... but... I donno... I'm tired... I'm annoyed.. and I've been super depressed lately which SUCKS. I cannot for the life of my remember to take my meds which I know is why I'm feeling depressed.
UG UG UG I'm annoying myself!!!!
I'm suppose to go to school later today and I totally don't feel like it. I mean I will go but I just wish I felt like it.
Ed is stressed about money which makes me super stressed too...
i have horrible baby fever and there is no way I'm ever going to have another baby.
I don't know who I am without more children or being pregnant etc... I desperately want to feel better...
I'm going to take a nap and hope I feel better when I wake up!!!
peace out.

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August 30th, 2010

01:42 pm
days like today make me feel like I will never get help with my depression/bipolar... seriously?! 10 years being on and off meds... and I still feel like shit..
I honestly have no idea how much more I can take of this... I need an inpaitent program now.

ug.. I hate feeling like this. :(

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April 25th, 2010

04:14 pm - formspring

I have so much to post about........... but honestly depression and insomnia are kicking my ass.......

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September 2nd, 2008

07:00 pm - just listed here:
I'm listed at DoulaNetwork.com

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August 23rd, 2008

07:34 am - Friend's cut

nothing personal... just need to pear down a bit.. you can add me on facebook if you wanna keep in touch.

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